Sunday, December 27, 2009

What Happens When You Go Off Resperidone

Dream of the Void

Short and kinda pointless, but eh.

This is not good. Things have changed since yesterday. My breakfast showed me, oddly enough. Yesterday everything was normal, as far as I can tell. I went to work as usual, had lunch, returned home after work, had dinner, watched a good movie and went to bed. That's when it started, I guess, but frankly I can't be sure. How could I be sure? Makes sense though, in a way.
I had a dream. That's it. A scary one. A nightmare, you could say. I was in this dark void. That sounds weird, I guess. Let me put it this way: Imagine you're standing in the countryside under a starlit sky. Now imagine, there is no grass, no soil, no trees, no horizon at the edge. Imagine, there is no planet earth. Imagine there is no moon and imagine that there are no stars, no galaxies, no astral lights at all. Now what is left with everything visible gone? I'll tell you: What's left is what really counts. The void. The black space between the stars that stares down at us and never really matters to us, because we're distracted by all the lights and the planet under our feet. The void is always there. And... believe it or not, it's bigger than all the distracting stuff combined.
That is what I saw in my dream and it scared me.
Now I'm having breakfast and I know that this dream will not leave me for a while. I sit there, shivering. I looked into my cup. I never drink my coffee with milk or sugar. That kind of stuff messes up the taste for me. I prefer it black or used to at least, because now I'm changing my mind. I looked into the cup and saw the black liquid. The darkness, the void, handy in a coffee mug. For a few seconds I was sure I was looking at the void for aeons. Now I'm shivering. Even though my legs are covered in boiling coffee. And my favourite cup is in pieces.

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